Cattails, Rabbit Trails, and Thistlefish: July 2013

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Return of the Blogger

Yes, I am alive.
Yes, I've been in Rome.
Yes, my brother and I had a great time.

And, yes, I'm going to be around here more;)

I'm a bit jet-lagged and way behind on laundry, but somewhere between work and school and editing the more-than-2,200 pictures I took, I will be slowly but surely letting ya'll back into my life again.

And learning how to make a real cappuccino.
Now that I've had the real goods, the boxed stuff just won't do.

So, Happy Tuesday to you!! Hope it's full of small memories.
And cappuccinos. ;)

(The Determined-to-no-longer-be-a-Slacker)

Monday, July 15, 2013

A Short Explanation

One good reason I haven't posted in a while, is because THIS GIRL was in town!!
Melissa is one of my good friends from Ellerslie, and has been on here a couple of times.
We had a fantastic time, going to the beach, Busch Gardens, and chillin' with some fabulous people.
She's one of the most beautiful people I know, inside and out. I've loved getting to know her better.
Gonna miss her!

Saturday, July 13, 2013


So there are a lot of things that I should be doing that I haven't been doing.

I haven't been writing.
I haven't been journalling.
I haven't been practicing.
I haven't been reading.
I haven't even been doing much laundry.

All of these are things I love to do, but they're things I've had to slack on a bit. Here's why:

I place bigger expectations on myself than anybody else could.

I tell people all the time that I'm Wonder Woman. Because I believe it. I can do anything. I'm just that kind of person.
I'm not really scared of many things. The only things that hold me back are my own insecurities.

So why did I feel, all of a sudden, pressured? from all angles?
My expectations for myself were too high.

As I was thinking about this today, the Lord showed me (Praise the Lord for those catchy church billboards) that even HIS expectations of me aren't even as high as mine are.
That seems wrong to think, at first. But think of it this way: He wants perfection, and desires to see holiness in my life, but He also knows me. He knows my limits better than I do. Because even when I think I can spend time with my siblings, do three loads of laundry, make my mama feel loved, write letters, clean my room, run errands,  do homework and three thousand other things in one day... He knows I can't. I simply can't.

So if He knows me, intimately and completely, how could He expect me to exceed my limitations? He doesn't. He desires a perfect reflection of His holiness in my soul, because that's the only way I can know Him and be loved by Him completely, and He works towards that in my heart. He pursues me. But He also knows it's going to take time, and processing, and work.

Just like anyone who enters a serious relationship cannot expect the other person will know how to love them wholly and completely after the first day: it takes time, and processing, and work to learn each other and learn how to love and how to receive love. He knows I have to learn how to love and be loved by Him. And He's patient.

This doesn't change the fact that I expect way to much of myself. This is still a really hard thought to wrap my brain around. But I'm getting there. I'm seeking the Lord on it. I want to know how He thinks about me, and what He expects of me. That's why I've been pushing aside a few of the things I've pressured myself to do, even if they're good things. If they're keeping me from being a catalyst of His love every moment, than they get taken out of my life for this season. I need to learn how to have grace for myself.

He knows me completely. And He takes care of me. I so want to know Him better.

So be gracious with me. One of those good things I love doing is posting here, and writing. Posts may be more or less infrequent over the next while... I'm trusting the Lord with that though.

What are you seeking the Lords face on? Do you put higher expectations on yourself than you ought?


Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Love Rhythms

So I've been trying this thing called listening lately.
It actually makes you more present.
Makes you more aware.

It's been raining a lot, in my sweet state of Virginia. At least where I am.
I also drive a lot.
I like loud music with the windows down and hair flyin' wild.
When it rains, though, that doesn't really work out.

So all those times when I'm driving all by myself,
and the rain is keeping me from jamming with the windows down,
I've been turning my music off.

Have you ever just listened to the rain?
Just listened, and held your breath?
I have, but not in a while.

And I've had the most amazing moments.
The sky has split into these incredible sunsets while the rain has poured down.
And I've found that the music of my windshield wipers creates the perfect atmosphere for my soul so simply swell with adoration and admiration for my Creator King.

He seriously is so cool.

Have you ever listened to the song "Intimacy" by Jonathan David Helser?
There's a line that says,
"These ears You've formed to hear Your rhythms of love."
Do I know what those rhythms sound like?
I want to know.